A Foolish Heart
by Indigonoir
Summary: These stories are set after Gwen has become queen and how she manage her new role.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Merlin. I love reading the fanfics and wanted to give it a shot. Hope you enjoy.

A Foolish Heart

It was her fault. She could blame no one, but herself. She'd followed her heart and looked were it got her, on the throne of Camelot. She wanted to blame the man beside her, tall handsome and very blond. She had caused to blame his heart, a fickle thing that waxed and waned like the moon. Maybe she should blame Lancelot, who had enticed her to her first love. He'd opened the door, and Arthur had walked right in, as bold as you please. Where was her head? She'd always been known as a sensible, practical girl and look at her now. Queen of Camelot.

Gwen sighed. Arthur turned to her, catching her slight exhale. She'd been sighing a lot lately.

"Are you tired?" He asked softly, his voice filled with concern. She lied and shook her head. It truly wasn't a lie. She'd known what being tired was when she toiled as a servant, her hands raw from scrubbing floors or washing clothes. She'd known sleepless nights, taking care of Morgana and finally Uther.

This tired came from sitting all day doing next to nothing, telling people to do things she was more than capable of doing on her own. Once, he caught her cleaning their bedchamber, and admonished her. He stated she was denying some poor servant a good wage. She promised to stop, but did it when he wasn't looking. The man refused to put his clothes away. What choice did she have?

Her weariness came from all the people she wanted to help, knowing there wasn't enough time in the day to help them all, but she tried. When he gave her coins to buy a new dress, she spent it on other things. The roof of a house in the lower town for an old neighbor, a pretty ribbon for the cook's child and extra medicine when Gaius tended to the people of lower town and outlying areas, there were so many things a gold coin could buy. She would stitch lace or embroider on an old dress and parade it in front of him as if it were new, him, oblivious of the deception.

She tired of the gossip of the court; the ladies and their whispers. Those you were truly happy for her and others who were clearly not. Nothing spoken aloud, but she was no fool. In the whispers, she often heard herself referred to as the Commoner Queen. It grew tiresome, but she held her tongue. She learnt very quickly not to give her opinion too fast or to openly. She reserved that pleasure for her husband and in the privacy of their bedchamber.

She sighed again.

Arthur, sitting on the throne next to her, looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. She suspected that he was trying to guess her mood. She smiled at him, because once again, she lost herself in that face, a face despite its capricious nature adored her. Today she decided to blame her heart, despite her weariness of court, her duties and the tightness of her bodice, because she wanted to be with him alone. Alone, behind a closed door, they were just Gwen and Arthur, husband and wife.

In the darkness, he'd scolded her on her forays into the lower town walking alone and unguarded. She'd scold him on his treatment of Merlin. A man he still wouldn't openly admit was his dearest friend. In the comfort of their bed, skin upon skin, he would tell her how he blamed her for capturing his heart. Hearts are to blame she said, they are always to blame.

"There must be someone to blame for this," Arthur said sternly, breaking her from her reverie. She took noticed of the two men before them, each claiming some grievance toward the other. The day was waning, and the weariness crept up on her again as she struggled to suppress a yawn. The discussion had gone around in circles for over an hour. What little she could understand the disagreement had to do with tainted water. Long standing friends and neighborhood had come to blows over it. She longed for a quiet meal with her husband and a soft bed. Instead, she got the severe looking faces of serious men debating a serious problem.

She sighed again, this time she didn't care who heard her. All that heard did turn in her direction. Arthur, who had insisted she join him at these meetings, didn't look happy. When he was gone from Camelot, she was to rule in his absence, and she needed to learn. All she had learned so far, that people will argue over everything.

"Madame," he sighed impatiently.

She smiled at her husband and at the knights, and courtiers and the two men in debate and stood up from her throne. She clasped her hands together and took the few steps she needed to face the two men. She nodded to them politely; giving them more deference than most royals would ever give. They nodded back, confused as what else to do.

"If you are tired milady, best you retire?" Arthur said tightly, obviously confused by his wife's action. This time it was her turn to cock an eyebrow up at him.

"No my dear, I only tire of the argument that has gone on and on without results," she said with equal patience to her husband.

"That is because he is wrong," one man said angrily.

"No he is?" said the other.

She stared at these once good friends and their current state of affairs.

"You are both wrong," she said. She heard someone snicker, and she scanned the small crowd beyond the men, lords and ladies, knights and councilmen. They all judged her. She hoped they wanted her to be a good queen. She knew she should sit down and let Arthur deal with this, but her patience was gone. "And you're both right?"

The men looked confused. Arthur was both confused and slightly irritated.

"Milady…" Arthur began, but she held up a hand to stop him.

"May I try to resolve the issue for all our sakes," she pleaded. He reluctantly nodded.

"You are all orchard, yes?" She said to one man, who obviously came dressed in his best clothes. "You are cattle and goats. Each used the same stream to irrigate your fields and water your animals. This is correct?"

They nodded.

"Each of you claims after years of cooperation, one of you has tainted the water. It is killing your fruit and making your livestock ill. What has changed? You have the same orchard and your stock as not doubled in size, has it not?"

They both shook their head.

"Well then there must be a third answer," she said, and she could tell they were beginning to contemplate this. The man with the orchard shook his head.

"There is nothing else," he demanded.

Gwen shook her head, disappointed in the man shortsightedness.

"Why is it that men refuse to look beyond their nose, beyond the orchards and the tail of a goat?" She asked them with some frustration.

"Milady, I have no answer," the stockman said apologetically.

"Maybe there is no answer," Arthur said solemnly.

"Usually my lord, there is. Considering when I was in the lower town the other day at the market, I noticed a new stand. I admired his copper wares. I asked him where he had the items made, and he said locally. This surprised me because we often traded with a southern kingdom for such goods. They are known for copper and iron mines. He dutifully informed me, that a new mine had opened in Camelot, in the hills to the east. Below those hills, lay your homesteads, am I not correct?" Gwen said. She left to two men and returned to her seat and stare out amongst the gathering of men, one of which was Gaius.

"Gaius, would the run off from such a mine poison a stream or a well?" she asked

"Indeed your majesty, it's very likely harmful to people as well," he said knowingly.

"Arthur, I'm sure if you sent your knights to speak to this new mine owner about dumping his run off into the stream, he'd stop, don't you think?" she said. "I think you should send Percival."

Slightly dumbfounded, Arthur nodded.

"Yes I'll do that," Arthur finally said as he regained his wits. He concluded the meeting quickly with a promise the mine would shut down. As a gesture to soothe the men's broken friendship, he reassured the men compensation from the mine owner for their damages. Their friendship would have to mend on their own.

"Thank you, your majesty," both men said. Each man turned to Gwen and bowed low, and respectfully.

"Thank you your majesty for your wise council," one man said before they left. She smiled at them, happy the ordeal was over, and the men seemed cordial toward one another once again.

When the throne room was nearly empty, and Arthur was giving instruction to his knights, the weariness came over her again.

"Well done, milady," Gaius said joining her.

Gwen shook her head, annoyed that Gaius refused to call her by her given name in public since she'd been crowned. He waved her disapproval off.

She covered a yawn with her hand.

"Tired?" He asked as they both watched her husband.

She shrugged but then shook her head.

"I tell myself, I should say little and hold my tongue. In time, they would have figured it out. I see when I give my opinion some in the court cringed, one for being a woman and a commoner at that. I should listen to my head, but my heart gets in the way," Gwen lamented.

"You are a good Queen," Gaius insisted.

"It just seemed like they were good neighbors and for such a thing to tear them apart. It was an easy answer. It was just taking so long," she complained but smiled.

"You should follow your heart more often," Gaius tensed.

"Oh, I do and look at where it's landed me. On a chair that makes my bottom sore, telling ordinary folks how to live their lives," she complained without much sincerity.

"I will get you a cushion," a firm voice said from behind her. She turned to see her smiling husband, done with his conversation with his knights. She kissed him gently on the cheek. He took her hand.

"You are a wise King Arthur Pendragon," she mused.

"Let us have supper and retire. You can tell me how wise and wonderful I am," Arthur teased and pulled her close to him. She stared up into his eyes, so blue they reminded her of the sky. She felt herself getting lost again. As he pressed her close, Gaius slipped away, leaving them alone. Arthur took the opportunity to kiss her, deeply. As they came together, she felt the beating of her own heart, strong and fierce. It would not be ignored, so she didn't. She fell into the kiss.

_I am lost as she felt his heart beat with hers and there nothing to be done. _


	2. Chapter 2

This my second glimpse of Gwen as Queen.

A Foolish Heart

2

He found her by following the sounds of a woman weeping, soft, low and regretful. In a small stone alcove, away from the prying eyes of others, she hid. The narrow dark corridor that acted as a secondary passageway to the other side of the palace was forgotten by most. People rarely used it, avoiding its cramped corners, twists and bends and narrow steps. Somehow, she had found it. He meant to ask her how but he'd have to save that for another time. His job was to find her, bring her back and deal with what she had done..

"Gwen," he said softly, before he rounded the corner to face her. He didn't want to startle her, so he called out her name.

"Go away, Arthur," she demanded, her voice filled with pain He stopped before he turned the corner to face her.

"Guinevere," he said. He spoke her name it in a way she often responded, yielding to his tenderness.

Her sobs deepened.

There they stood, yet to face each other. She was hidden away unable to face anyone, and he unable to face her. He couldn't see her like this, broken. Her sorrow always undid him. Maybe this was his fault. Had he made a mistake, making a servant his Queen? Did he give her too much credit for her ability to fight against so much tradition and the pressure of her new status? Was he the fool to believe?

"I wish I were a bird, so that I could fly away," she said wistfully.

"Would you leave me?" he said as he struggled with the idea of her wanted to leave him. He pressed his back against the stone wall and shut his eyes.

"Never you Arthur, never you?" she said with regret. This made him smile. The certainty of her voice reassured him. There were times he'd had abandoned her. Listened to the false counsel of others who thought he should choose another. His jealousy had driven her away, yet she'd returned. She never lost faith in him. Thankful, he'd finally come to his senses, realized the truth. He needed her more than she needed him. True, he could give her fine clothes, a castle and a kingdom, but he was certain Gwen could live without these things easily. Could he?

Merlin always told him he'd be a great king. Most time, he couldn't believe half the things the fool said but he wanted to believe that. It was his desire to be a great king, greater and wiser than his father was. For that, he needed her and that was the secret of it. He suspected Merlin knew, maybe Gaius, but no one else. He has seen the questioning looks. Why choose her? If he could explain his love for her, he would. But there were no words invented that could describe the depth of his passion. Without her, the air felt thin.

"Then we should fly away together?" he mused as her sobbing subsided.

"Only if we could, but you'd make a horrible bird," she gently mocked. "You are always getting lost."

"I never." He feigned indignation. He couldn't see her, but he knew she was smiling. He was tempted to step from beyond the wall and reveal himself, but he like this odd intimacy where he only had his words.

"I cannot face them Arthur," she said and sounded like a child.

"What make you so fearful of such a group of boorish lords? It's never stopped you before telling me a thing or two," he said, smiling to himself.

"You are my husband. I am you wife," she said as if that was answer enough. As if, he was some farmer or shop keeper. She had a way of cutting him down to size with a look, a gentle hand on his when he got to full of himself. Once, when had been particularly curt to Merlin, she admonished him, reminding him of the loyalty Merlin has always shown. When she was done, he felt dutifully chastised until he saw the stupid grin on Merlin's face.

When she had a cause, she was fearless.

"You are their Queen," he said almost too forcefully. If he could not get his wife to believe this then he and Camelot were lost.

Only hours before he'd returned to Camelot after two weeks of hunting marauding bandits, a band that had eluded him time and time again. He'd returned frustrated and angry. He'd hoped the comfort of his wife's arm would soothe his rage, only to find his temper stoked. Tired, dirty and in need of a meal, he'd been assaulted by the council members the moment he dismounted his horse. They were trying to prepare for a visiting king and his court and Gwen was in hiding. She was hidden so well, no one could find her.

When he inquired why his wife was avoiding them, they gave him the story about Lord Umfrey, bandits and the _insult_. The insult was the thing that got his blood boiling. He dismissed the council and went in search of his wife. He set Merlin to the task as well, since he was quite adapted at finding the best places to take a nap. He had found her and needed to coax her out of her hiding place.

"You cannot stay here forever." He unbuckled his sword and removed his cloak. His legs ached from the long trip back, so he took a seat on the hard ground.

"I can try," she said, a voice carrying a hint of playfulness. This was a good sign, he thought. At least she wasn't crying.

"You've done nothing wrong," he insisted. He took off his gloves and placed them by his side. "You did the right thing."

"Arthur, I threw Lord Umfrey in the dungeon," she said.

"He's lucky I didn't hang him." He felt his anger rise again.

"Arthur!" she exclaimed.

"Guinevere!" he replied mockingly.

Lord Umfrey's father had been a loyal subject during Uther's rule, but the son had become quite troublesome as of late. He allowed bandits to occupy his lands to do raids on neighboring landowners. There was no proof until recently and unfortunately this proof had come at a time when Arthur had been out searching the countryside for these same bandits. At the insistence of the council, Gwen was forced to deal with it. A task she preferred to leave it to her husband. Since something had to be done, she sent Leon, Gwaine and her brother to see if the complaints made by Umfrey's neighbors were true. They brought back ample proof of Umfrey's duplicity.

When presented before her to deny the charges, Lord Umfrey insisted she had no rule over him and she would have better served the king as his mistress. That was when things went wrong, at least in Gwen's eyes. He'd made this announcement in a chamber full of his supporters. Others were there as well, council members, courtiers, soldiers, taking note of her reaction to this _insult_. A smug Lord Umfrey expected her to yield so he may state his case before his king and dispute the charges and evidence. He mistook her flushed face, her narrow gaze as a woman on the verge of tears. He thought knew how to talk to servant, even one who thought themselves better.

He was mistaken.

Gaius, who was in attendance on the day, relayed the events to Arthur, especially Gwen's reaction. Arthur tried to feign surprise as the mention of his wife's temper, but he couldn't. He'd been on the brunt end of it one too many times in the past.

"I'd never seen Gwen react so, intensely," the older man said. "She gave him a piece her mind."

"I bet she did," Arthur said.

"You think your king's ears will be any more just than mine," Gwen scolded Lord Umfrey. "Or will he see you for the traitor you are. Or should I ask the neighboring lords how they view your invite to every bandit in the northern district to take up residence with you. You allow them to use your lands to attack your neighbors. From the report I received from Sir Leon, you were highly compensated for your hospitality.

"And as to your insult to me regarding how I can best sir my husband and your king. I will best serve him by ridding this kingdom of you," she said.

Gone was the familiar Umfrey's arrogance at Gwen's implications. In Arthur's absence, she had the power to take his land, his title and his head.

As Gaius relayed his wife's words to him, he could not help but be proud. She did not waiver, or take council, she acted. She threw Lord Umfrey into the dungeons to the protest of his people. They threatened retributions. When she asked them if any of them wished to join their master in the dungeon, the room grew silent.

"It was thing to behold," Gaius said. "She told them, Lord Umfrey would remain in the dungeon until the bandits were driven from his lands and brought to justice. Again, there were protests and again, the queen made the offer of them keeping Umfrey company.

"You could imagine my surprise when, I found Umfrey's men brining in these criminals in chains. I'd been looking for them and there they were being marched into Camelot. More surprised to find they'd been encouraged by my wife to do so." Arthur said.

"Indeed," Gaius added, his lips curled up in a slight grin. "Lord Umfrey believed you wouldn't arrive in time before she cut off his head."

"I may do that anyway," an annoyed Arthur said, before he went in search of his missing wife. She'd confessed tearfully to Gaius after the incident that she thought she'd made a mess of things and overstep her responsibilities. Gaius couldn't reassure her no matter what he said.

Arthur was down to his socking feet now, having taken off his boots. He'd managed to slip off his chainmail without the help of Merlin. He wanted a hot bath and a few hours sleep before he had to face the visiting court. Now if he could just get his wife out of her hiding place.

"I'm still a servant their eyes." It was an accusation she often threw at him, when he made her rule in his absence. At first, he let it go, not forcing her. He could no longer do that, if he truly wanted to unite all of Albion. He would be gone for weeks from Camelot and the kingdom needed a ruler.

"Without you, I cannot be king. I cannot do my duty," he said.

"That is not true Arthur," her voice broke as spoke.

He rested his head against the wall, the cool stone tempering his rising frustration. He wanted a quick answer, an easy solution to Gwen's dilemma. How could he tell her that the people loved her? How Camelot seemed a happier place. Once, walking in the lower town, a young child gave him flowers to give to their _Queen Gwen_. He wondered what his father would say, or Morgana, certain that Gwen had gone beyond her station. They saw her as a servant. Then it occurred to him as the notion made him smile.

"Guinevere?" he spoke low and soft. "You were a good servant, yes?"

"I guess."

"You cared for Morgana and my father tirelessly, taking their needs and wants into consideration above your own. When they suffered you comforted them, fed them and clothe them."

"Is there a point to this Arthur?" she said brusquely. Obviously, he wasn't helping her mood.

"I ask you…no I demand as your king, be a servant to Camelot. Ensure its well being. Guard against all who would do it harm, fools like Umfrey. Provide comfort and charity when needed. Serve the people." He said, choosing his words carefully.

"No one will think me a tyrant?" she said and he heard the hurt in her voice.

"No one will, if fact Lord Umfrey's neighbors are very grateful to you. In particular, Lord Osbert, whose son was wounded in the last raid, wanted to thank you. He will be at the welcoming ceremony tonight and wishes to make sure you are in attendance. Considering, I've always found the man to be indifferent to me, he seemed quite pleased with you."

"Really?" she said with some surprise.

"Really, so if you don't mine, I'd like leave this damp place for a hot bath and a few hours sleep before the festivities. And after I'm clean and rested, I would truly loved to greet my wife properly," He said.

There was silence. Arthur didn't know if that were a good sign or not. Then he heard movement. When she appeared from around the corner, he stood up and held out his hand to her. It was the hand that bore the wedding ring that bound them together. She did not take it at first, and then her slight fingers, warm and brown slipped into his. He tightened his grip and pulled her toward him. She dressed plainly in thin sleeping gown. Her long hair braided down her back. Her face moistened from tears. He saw she wore no shoes upon her feet and stared down at them.

"You'll catch you death," he admonished.

"I'm warm enough." Her face glowed with a radiance he loved. Yet, he didn't believe her and pulled her into his arms to warm her. As always, she placed her hand over his heart and rested her head on his chest. She stood like that for a moment before she stepped away from him to pick up his discarded booths.

"You never pickup after yourself," she chided.

Arthur huffed.

"That's what Merlin is for," he said, teasing. He threw his cloak around her shoulder as they walked to their bedchamber.

This time Gwen huffed. Before they left the small corridor, Gwen stopped and faced her husband.

"Arthur you were always born to be king, but….I," she lowered and shook her head. "I am just a blacksmith's daughter."

Arthur stared down at her face, warm and inviting. Her eyes always seemed to find the heart of him. He cupped her face and kissed her gently or the lips.

"You think yourself fragile, but you are the strongest person I know. You think yourself placid, but you are as fierce as any warrior. You think yourself too simple to rule, when you have proven time and time again, how just, selfless and true you are. I could have had any princess in the five kingdoms, but none could compare to you. None could be as humble, honest or sincere," he said softly before kissing her deeply. He felt her arms wrap around him as she yielded to the embrace. He thought nothing of his warm bed or visiting king.

"Arthur," she pulled away from him breathlessly, her swollen lips an invitation for me.

"Yes, love" he began to place kisses along her neck. He could tell she struggled to keep her focus.

"When should I let Lord Umfrey out of the dungeon," she asked timidly. Arthur pulled back abruptly and glared at her.

"Are you asking me, when you should release a man who has insulted my wife and is at present interrupting me now," he said tightly.

She smiled at him with that lopsided grin he loved. When he stepped closer to resume his seduction, they were interrupted by Merlin.

"Oh," Merlin broadly and eyed them both in the darkened corridor. "You've found the Queen!"

"Yes Merlin!" he began angrily, but his tone softened at the sight of Gwen gazing up at him. He sighed deeply, amused that Merlin, as always had stated the obvious.

"Indeed, Merlin, I have found the Queen."


End file.
